can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
