Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
