I accidentally burped into my bong.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
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I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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