oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
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But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
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She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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