I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
