so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
