Screwed.edu
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
