They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
