He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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