yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
