Where is the hickey?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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