you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
