im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
