I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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