Whod you bang
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
