yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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