Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
