Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
