the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
