So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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