Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Drake has all the answers
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize