Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This girl is more easily done than said...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
