Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
