my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
