I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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