I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I smell like Dick and happiness
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
