For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
