You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
