I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The air was thick with penises
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
