i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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