Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
