Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have post one night stand depression
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
