Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.

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(406): View more from Montana

she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?

Fav 19 3590 978
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(804): View more from Virginia

Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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(518): View more from New York

im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.

Fav 14 4826 1463
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(631): View more from New York

At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

Fav 5 4013 1187
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think we should have started that trash fire

Fav 14 2193 1688
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(201): View more from New Jersey

There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.

Fav 3 1723 923
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(972): View more from Texas

I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time

Fav 0 41 10
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(928): View more from Arizona

I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.

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