I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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