Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
