I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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