please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
