friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
