i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
