I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
