Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
