she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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