Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
