I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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