That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
