omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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