i can't believe i had my finger in that
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
