Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
