No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
