i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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