what day is it and did you see me today?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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