New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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