I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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