Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
