So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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