From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
