Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
