Kiss
Puke
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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