So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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