And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think i have two assholes
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize